Because it’s late, and i’m not sleeping currently. I think because absolutely cack all happens at this time for night, our minds tend to try and find some meaning in the void. Boredom can be awfully misleading if you don’t just let it be boredom. boredom can be pretty useful when you want it to be, if you’re willing to do something. most of the time we just want to be entertained. and hey fair enough, you’re allowed a break. I watch so little TV but its nice just going jack all except veg out infront of a telly, particularly if you don’t veg out any other time. un-beautifully focussed. ugly isn’t the right word but this isn’t beautiful, but it pleases me in a way that beauty might. She’s asleep right now and even if i were with her and I still wasn’t asleep at least I’d be there. I could hold her or kiss her or smell her or listen to her breathe. It’s always the next day when you wake up. This requires you to sleep first, it’s pretty necessary stuff, really throws you when you don’t have enough of it
keep trying, it takes a lot of doing something to get good at it, and that’s mostly because you take an age to tell yourself that you’re doing ok anyway. dont assume you have any control over your success and just do something. sometimes what you do will be incredible, even if only to you, or one other person. significance is fickle. everything is probably.
